


losing and gaining

by anyabarnes



Series: tumblr prompts! [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Coming Out, Female Reader, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, POV Second Person, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Hatred, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, bisexual reader, coming out gone wrong, male reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyabarnes/pseuds/anyabarnes
Summary: Your parents weren't accepting. Luckily, Steve and Bucky are.





	losing and gaining

**Author's Note:**

> based off of this tumblr ask box prompt:  
"I don't really know how to ask for fanfics but here goes. bucky and Steve help a young teen girl (reader) accept herself after her parents reject her due to her sexuality (she's bisexual). thank you! p.s. I love your fanfics. doot doot"
> 
> also, this is my first ever reader fanfic! i would love love love to hear feedback and learn what you guys liked and didn't like!
> 
> <3

You sob, ugly, harsh noises filling the guest room at the compound._ Stupid. Maybe if you were normal your parents would actually love you._ Your sleeve is covered in snot, your hoodie drenched in tears._ Disgusting._

You weren’t sure what to expect. You had heard your parents talking about the ‘disgusting homos’ and ‘repulsive gays’, but you had thought that _maybe _, just _maybe _, they would’ve accepted you. Even if you didn’t expect it to be with loving, open arms, you had still expected _something. _

How terribly wrong you had been. 

It was a last resort, staying at the compound. You had called Peter last night, begging him for a place to stay. By the end of the night, Tony Stark was standing at your door, wrapping you in his arms tightly. Your parents had watched with disgusting scowls on their face, slamming the door behind you. 

You pull a pillow to your chest, trying to bring some comfort to yourself. In one night, you had come out, gotten kicked out, and started living with the Avengers. You scratch at your wrist hard, tears streaming down your face. 

_Stupid. Maybe if you weren’t such a queer your parents would still love you. Pathetic. It’s your fault they don’t want you anyways. Maybe if you were just normal, then maybe they would love you. _You rub your eyes, rocking back and forth slightly. You feel alone. So, so alone. You bury your face in the pillow, smearing your snot against the cool silk. 

A knock rings throughout the room. _Shit. _ You sit up quickly, rubbing your eyes. You wipe your snot covered hands on the bed covering. 

“(Y/N), can we come in?” 

Double _ shit. _ Captain America is standing outside of your door. Captain. America. Right outside of your door. And you are covered in snot, tears, and Tony’s old MIT hoodie. 

“Um-uh-yeah. Yeah,” you say, your voice breaking. You wipe your eyes once again. The door opens slowly, the light from the hallway flooding the room. 

“Hey doll,” Captain America says. 

“Uh-hi Captain.” 

“Steve, please.” Capta-Steve says softly. He walks over to the bed, sitting down next to you. The bed dips slightly. The Winter Soldier trails behind him. 

“Hey (Y/N).” Bucky’s voice is gruff, yet still sweet. He sits down on the other side of you, wrapping an arm around your waist. 

“Can I-uh-can I ask why you’re here?” You rub your eyes once more, hoping that the tear streaks down your face aren’t as obvious as they feel. 

“We heard what happened, love. We figured you might need some support right now,” Steve tilts his head to look you in the eyes. He puts his hand on your knee. 

All it takes is him smiling softly before you burst into tears. You bury your face into his chest, loud sobs leaving your mouth. Bucky’s hand comes up to ruin his fingers through your hair. 

“I’m-I’m sorry,” you cry, your voice coming out in choked sobs. Steve shushes you, pulling yourself closer to his body. 

“You have _nothing _ to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong, nothing at all. Your parents did a _disgusting, vile _ thing, and it is _not _ your fault,” Bucky says. He leans in to hug you, tucking your head underneath his chin. You curl your hand around the arm of his sweatshirt, holding him tight. 

“No,” you say softly, wiping your nose. “I’m so _stupid. _ I knew what was gunna happen. I _knew _. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have told them. I should’ve just been normal. Then maybe everything would be easier.” You clench your jaw, letting go of Bucky and curling in on yourself. “I guess I’m just too much of a fuck-up.” You snort. 

“(Y/N), _stop _,” Steve says. 

“Stop what, Steve? Stop telling the truth? I messed up _everything. _I don’t have a family anymore. All because I was too stupid to see the consequences of my actions. I knew they were homophobic. And I still thought it was a good idea to come out. That’s _my fault _. It’s _all _ my fault.” 

“It’s not your fault, (Y/N). I promise you, it isn’t.” 

You bite your lip to keep from crying more. 

“But it _is _ my fault. I chose to come out to them. I should have known it wasn’t going to go well. I still made that dumb, stupid decision, and I ruined my life because of it. I get that you guys don’t understand it, really, but it is my fault, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” You run your fingers through your hair and _ pull _, letting out a small cry at the pain. Steve laces his fingers through yours and untangles them from your hair. 

“Hey, none of that love.” 

“‘M sorry.” You sniffle. “You guys shouldn’t have to deal with me.” 

“(Y/N), we want to help you,” Bucky says. He shares a look with Steve before looking back down at you. “We-we were once in your shoes. Steve and I-uh-got kicked out of our first apartment because the landlord found out we were together. He took all of our stuff, too. Left us with absolutely nothing.” He reaches across your lap and grabs Steve’s hand. “We had to stay at Steve’s ma’s house for a while. It was hard. Real hard. So-uh-we get it. Really.” 

“What?” You look up at Steve and Bucky. 

“Yeah.” Steve lets out a dry laugh. “It was really difficult. The guys at the bar no longer wanted to be around us. They thought we were disgusting. We lost a lot that winter.” Steve nods softly, staring at the carpet. 

“So we get it (Y/N), we really do. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your parents are terrible people. Just because you like girls and guys doesn’t make you worth anything less. You aren’t abnormal or weird. You’re just you,” Bucky rubs your leg. You wipe your face once more, cringing as the snot-covered sleeve drags against your face. 

“And we don’t care who you like. It doesn’t change who you are as a person. You’re (Y/N), and we love that about you,” Steve says, smiling. You smile back, softly. “There’s that smile we know and love.” 

“Uh-thank you guys, really.” You fidget with your fingers. “That-that meant a lot.” 

“No problem, doll. We care about you. We want you to be happy, even if that means helping you through rougher periods,” Bucky says, hugging you. Steve leans in too, knocking the both of you over. You laugh, trying to push the weight of two super soldiers off you. 

“Now,” Steve says, pushing himself up with a dopey smile. “Who wants some hot chocolate?”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!
> 
> my tumblr is @anyabarnes and i am currently taking prompts! just hop on in to my ask box and send me any prompt your heart desires!
> 
> you all are loved! if you haven't yet today, please get a drink of water, grab a snack, or shower! you matter so much. please try and take care of yourself, even if it is something little. <3


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